Celebrating Life in God's Timing

Today would have made 40 weeks of pregnancy with Garrett and 9/16/2010 is what his official due date was. I know that he would not have been born on this date for one because my OB would have planned my repeat C-section at 39 weeks instead of 40. Additionally, rarely are babies actually born on their specific due date. It is all in God's timing. Since Garrett ended up being 6 weeks early today also marks his 6 week birthday. Knowing that the official due date was approaching, I was trying to think of a super-special post for today. I kept thinking the most special post is the one that glorifies my God. So, I thought I would recollect all of the ways God had his hand on our family throughout this pregnancy and birth of our precious third baby, Garrett.
We actually started "trying" to get pregnant several months before we were successful. Again it is all in God's timing. Looking at the circumstances of it all it would have been a LOT more difficult timing-wise if we had gotten pregnant sooner.
We knew that my work schedule was going to change after the third baby came. We were considering me stopping working at least two weeks before baby. The company I worked for was acquired and my position eliminated in April but the separation package carried us through the end of August, which was two weeks before Garrett's official due date.
Since I already was not working, I didn't have to miss any work when I was hospitalized in July.
God used all of the wonderful people He put in our lives to provide for our family while I was in the hospital. Childcare was our biggest need so that our situation would not impose too much on my husband's job. Over four weeks of being hospitalized my husband only had to take 4 unplanned vacation days because the rest of the childcare was covered by precious friends from our church.
God laid a woman on my heart who was also in the hospital down the hall from me. I don't know her or her circumstances but I knew she needed some encouragement. God gave me an idea of a unique way to minister to her. Therefore, I had the privelege of sending some encouragment her way.
My mother was able to come and help for three weeks after Garrett was born. That was followed by a week with Andrew's mom. What a blessing to have help for that long.
God used my hospital stay to strengthen our marriage and mature us as a couple.
The only explanation for the peace I had while in the hopsital was that it was peace straight from God.
God gave us peace about a planned pre-term delivery at 34 weeks and He is so faithful that He took care of every detail of Garrett's health. Though tiny, Garrett is as healthy as a full-term newborn. He only spent 20 hours in the NICU for observation because he did have some fluid on his lungs. However, it was not from prematurity and it cleared itself up by the morning following his birth.
There was some maternal risk involved with the c-section because of the previa but my faithful God had his hand all over that too. My c-section nurse told me that she had never seen anyone with previa have as little bleeding as I had. I told her it was all because of prayer and she said that God sure did work a miracle.
I was praying since I became pregnant that I would be successful at breastfeeding this baby (I was not successful with either of the first two). We are six weeks in, exclusively breastfeeding and Garrett is gaining weight good. Praise God.
These are just some of the ways God had his hand on us through our most recent adventure. I can't physically put words to everything but God is so into every single detail. Praise God for the hope and help that comes in any situation through knowing Him and His son Jesus Christ.

Baby Weight - A God Story

I know that God can do anything and I am so grateful that He had his hand on baby Garrett and me all the way through my pregnancy. Since about 13 weeks of pregnancy each sonogram I had showed that the baby was larger than expected. At one point, my specialist was concerned about gestational diabetes since the baby was measuring large. Near about 28 weeks, Garrett measured about two weeks bigger than his due date. Little did I know how significant that was until we planned his early delivery at 34 weeks gestation. Of course, God knew and planned it perfectly. I have had two other children, both of which have been average weight boy 7.11 and girl 7.2 both full-term babies. An average weight for 34 week gestation is about 4.12. Upon delivery at 34 weeks baby Garrett weighed: (drum roll please)

Now, of course, weight isn't the only thing to be concerned about with a pre-term baby but it is a significant factor because the more fat they have the easier it is to maintain their own body temperature. If they can't maintain their body temp that means more time in the NICU. Praise God, weight and body temp was not an issue for Garrett and he didn't have to spend any extra time in the NICU.

I Am Proud To Introduce...

Time has warped again and I can't believe my baby is over three weeks old now. I apologize to my dear friends and family that were looking for updates on this blog. I forgot how much of a sleep deprived/pain medicine induced fog I would be in for a little while. As soon as the pain started to feel better I had a setback because my incision became infected. The pain returned and all I felt like doing for a few more days was laying in bed. I also had the sort of feeling like wanting to hide away from reality in a dark cave with my new baby. I have to admit that I was and still am scared of life returning full speed so I have been wanting to take extra naps and have plenty of cuddle time with our newest blessing. Hence, no time to update my blog. There are so many God stories behind this pregnancy, birth, and Garrett's health after birth...God is so amazing and I am so grateful that everything turned out fine for Garrett and me after a complicated pregnancy. Without further ado, this is the face that I have been so blessed to be staring into over the past few weeks. Thank you God for our newest gift of life.

August 5th Anticipation

Today is the day that we get to meet our precious third baby, Garrett. He will be born 6 weeks early with a neonatal team standing by to immediately assess him upon delivery. Writing this less than 24 hours beforehand, I am mostly just excited for Garrett's arrival but I can also feel myself a little more anxious again. I find myself becoming a bit more emotional too. Hmmm, I wonder why.
So, I can't eat anything after midnight and surgery is at noon. That means I will likely be spending most of my morning trying to keep my pregnant mind off of food! :-)
This might sound kind of strange but I am trying to come up with a plan for my mind during the surgery. I want so much to be focused entirely on God during that time. I also know that if I am not intentional about controlling what my mind focuses on then I will likely start to dwell on less than desirable thoughts. This "plan" that I am developing for my mind includes a prayer list, song list, and scripture but if it gets too difficult to focus on all of that then hopefully my mind will just default to Jeremy Camp's "There Will Be A Day." Love that song!
Anyway, Baby Garrett will be here soon and I can't wait to update you on his arrival.
Thank you so much for your prayerful support!

Fun Facts

*Time in the hospital: At noon tomorrow, which is the scheduled time of my c-section, I will have been in the hospital for approximately 30 days and 15 hours.
*Number of different IV sites: 7 actual sites plus one extra stick because they couldn't get one in a certain location.
*Number of shots: 9, seven total tirbutaline shots (2 the first night I arrived, 3 two nights ago, and 2 last night) and two steroid shots to help Garrett's lung development when I first arrived.
*Number of wheelchair rides: approximately 27, about 25 with the kids in my lap and hubby pushing, one without the kids with hubby pushing to tour the NICU, one without the kids with hubby pushing just spending some alone time.
*Number of blood draws: approximately 9
*Number of different day nurses that I have received care from: 9 of which 6 of them I have had more than once and 3 are from the labor and delivery side but were filling a gap so I only met them once.
*Number of different night nurses that I have received care from: 8 of which 7 of them I have had more than once and 1 was from L&D so I only met her once.
*Number of techs I have received care from: 3
*Number of visitors I have received: somewhere around 25
*Number of times Andrew and I have been alone in the past 30 days: 2, maybe 3 depending on how this afternoon works out
Wisdom and advice to share from all of this:
Don't let them draw blood or put an IV in the back of your hand unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
Keep your focus on God and make the most of every situation...it is part of life!
Pray and focus on being a blessing to others who are enduring more difficult circumstances.

I Am Still Pregnant

A bout with some stingy contractions yesterday/last night had us wondering if we would have baby Garrett on August 2nd instead of August 5th. I had been having contractions pretty much all day but they were barely noticeable. Then, about 6:30 p.m. they started becoming quite a bit more intense and I had some cramping and back ache with them. It reminded me of the first night I arrived here, which ironically was 4 weeks ago to the day. The great thing is that I never did bleed but the longer the contractions went on the more likely I was to bleed. Finally, after three shots of terbutaline and two terbutaline pills they pretty much stopped around 3:30 a.m. So, this is August 3rd and I am still pregnant...yay! And, currently not having any contractions. Part of me would have just liked to get it over last night but a larger part of me really wanted to wait until Thursday to give baby Garrett a few more days of cookin.

Almost August 5th = Anxiousness

I can't believe it went from two weeks to one week and now to just a few days so quickly. There were definitely times when it seemed like it was crawling by but now that it is so close to being here it feels like it went really quick. When I talk to the nurses and doctors about what all to expect then I can feel my heart starting to beat fast and sort of get that adrenaline rush feeling. I still feel totally at peace about how everything is going to proceed and know that God is in control of it. But, my body is still going through this nervous, anxious feeling that I think is just a physiological response that is natural because of the way God made human beings. My question to God is...What do I do with it? After praying through that for a couple of days I believe that He wants me to harness and channel those feelings into deeper reliance on Him. Specifically focus on memorized scripture and prayer when I start to have those feelings all the way up to, during, and even after delivery. Ok really I should be specifically focusing on scripture and prayer all the time. It makes me think of things I have heard people say about fasting from food. I have heard that when the hunger hits it is a physical reminder to stop and pray and rely more on God. So, in my case, I am not hungry but I am nervous and anxious so I see that as a physical reminder to shift my focus back to God through prayer and scripture.

Construction

I have a great view of the mountains out my hospital room window (in the distance). See this post of the sunrise to get an idea. But, if you look out only a little all you can see is dirt, gravel and large construction equipment. One would think that this view wouldn't be so nice but it is actually pretty cool, especially for the kids. We have been able to see the big crane moving some things around. Today we watched a backhoe loader load a dump truck with dirt. The other day we watched as a track loader was driven up onto a truck. It had to be driven up the ramp and then the bed of the truck dipped down a little so the equipment would just fit into this lower section of the bed. The edge of the tracks were right on the edge of the bed on both sides so the equipment had to be perfectly driven to be loaded on the truck straight. That was pretty neat to watch. If I could have opened up the window and clapped for the driver I would have because it looked like it took some skills. The construction activity out the window has led to some of the calmer times with the kids in my room since they will be still and watch out the window.

Monitor Time

Along with placenta previa comes the risk of placenta accreta, which has been described to me so many times that I just feel like {insert something that you would do when you are really irritated about being told something 20 different times}. Basically, there is a high risk of maternal hemorrhage while delivering the placenta and if they can't get the bleeding to stop then they have to remove the uterus. Whoa! If I don't have a uterus doesn't that mean that I can't have any more biological children? Even if I don't have placenta accreta, God might decide that we won't have any more biological children. I tell you all of that not because I am worrying into the future but just because it puts pregnancy into a whole new perspective when there is an obvious chance it could be my last. God laid it on my heart a while ago (before I ended up in the hospital) to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible. After being put in the hospital, I feel like I have been given a very unique opportunity to enjoy the pregnancy and really bond with Garrett. I get hooked up to the monitor twice a day for an hour. It can sort of feel like I am tied down because it is more difficult to move around and sometimes the belts get itchy. However, I try really hard to be intentional with this time and for the most part look forward to it being a "date with Garrett." What a gift it is to be able to sit back and relax while listening to his heartbeat for an hour. Some of the things I do to make the most of monitor time are:

Lay back, relax, close my eyes and try to visualize what Garrett will look like

Sing a song

Write Garrett a letter

Talk to Garrett (this sometimes makes me feel like maybe I have lost my mind)

Write in my prayer journal

Write in my journal

Pray in thought

Pray reading through a book For This Child I Prayed by Stormie Omartian

I must admit that every now and then I do check out and just watch TV or read a book but for the most part I try to be very intentional and not just pass monitor time but really enjoy and savor it.

Random & Goofiness at the Hospital

This is a picture of the sun reflecting off of one of the buildings downtown:

Braedon was being totally goofy sitting on daddy's lap the other day. We don't really know what he was doing but he sure was having fun.



Here is Kaley carrying around mommy's purse.

Hair

Have you ever had your hair touch your belly before? You actually may not notice and I almost didn't because I wear it up so often but my hair is long enough to touch my belly. There is something I know you couldn't sleep without knowing! :-) I was joking with some of my friends while they were visiting the other day and saying that I need to start blogging about every random thing that I can think of just to add a bit of humor (and make people wonder if I had lost my mind). So, there you have it. {hee hee}

Making the Most of It

I love, love, love the beach and want so badly to go whenever we have the chance. Around this time last year, we took a trip to the beach and besides getting some cute photos and sparse moments of relaxation it was pretty much a horrible experience. I can't even remember too many specifics but I know we ended up arguing and then just packed up and left mad. Apparently, two kids, sunscreen, sand, and two stressed out parents doesn't make a lovely combination for the beach. I was truly disappointed that our trip to the beach wasn't all beautiful and fun and I kept asking myself it's the beach, why can't we just make the most of it instead of getting all stressed out. God revealed to me one word...immaturity. The more I prayed about it the more convinced I was that we were a really immature couple who just was not able to respond well under stressful circumstances. After a few more stressful situations where we responded in a less than desirable manner, I started really asking God to mature us and give us the strength to respond well no matter what the situation is. I want so bad for us to be able to make the most of our time and see the blessing in everything...even a less than desirable situation. Now, from a hospital room where I have spent the last 3 1/2 weeks and will spend the next week awaiting the c-section birth of our 3rd child I can proudly celebrate what God has done in maturing us as a couple through the experiences leading up to this hospital stay and the hospital stay itself. We are making the most of it despite it being a less than desirable situation. We certainly have not "arrived" by any means because we still need plenty of work. But, God has moved us from a place where we were unable to make the most of a beach trip to a place where we are making the most of a month long hospital stay. I am so grateful and celebrate the wonderful work God is doing in our lives. I was talking to a minister from our church the other day and he was encouraging me and telling me that God can use this and we will be a stronger couple on the other side of this experience. That prompted my memory that I had been praying for us to become a more mature couple. It never ceases to amaze me how creatively God answers prayers.

Skyline Chili

If you are from the South you may never have heard of it before...it's a mid-west thing. The way I like my skyline chili is a bed of spaghetti noodles topped with skyline chili then topped with lots and lots of shredded cheddar cheese. Of course, we can't forget the oyster crackers on the side. In the restaurant, this is called a 3-way. There are not any Skyline Chili restaurants in the South but they sell it in a can. So, you can just boil some spaghetti, heat up the sauce, get out the cheese and crackers, and voila! Andrew tells me a few days ago that he has a surprise dinner for me and it is one of my favorites. I don't like to spoil surprises so I intentionally try not to think about what it is. In the back of my mind though I am thinking how in the world is he going to prepare a seafood meal for me and bring it to the hospital (seafood is my absolute favorite). I know he doesn't have time for that. I was pleasantly surprised when he showed up with my second favorite (and much, much easier) meal of Skyline Chili. It was so sweet and thoughtful. Thanks, Honey!

Family Pictures

Check out our family photos we had taken in a garden at the hospital. We wanted to capture the belly in the photos and since I will be in the hospital up until baby Garrett's birthday we had to do them here. It turned out great because this beautiful garden made a great setting. Click here to see the pictures.
It is so neat to see the change from year to year. Click here to see a few Feb 09 photos.

My Husband, My Gift From God

God never fails to amaze me at the strength that He gives my wonderful husband to step in and take over things when he needs to. The first very significant life event was the c-section birth of our first child. Obviously, Andrew was a brand new dad and I was pretty much out of commission while recovering from major surgery. Andrew stepped up like he was an old pro. I can't even remember how long it was before I even changed a diaper, not to mention the many other things that went along with that. Now, since being in the hospital on bed rest with our third child, Andrew is having to take care of the home front with both little ones. Thanks to God that we are not alone during this time. We have an AMAZING support group that has helped with childcare, meals, yard work, and housework. I could not be more grateful for the stress relief it has been on my husband and therefore our whole family. It is still a stressful time though even when most of the tangible things are taken care of but Andrew has yet to complain. He tells me not to worry and just relax and get my rest. He makes sure that the kids come to the hospital to see me at least once a day, sometimes twice on the weekends. We eat dinner together at the hospital, which means he is transporting food and then heating it up and fixing plates at dinner time. I am sure it would be much easier to stay home. I know how difficult it is to get the kids up and ready for church, back home, lunch, nap when both of us are home. Andrew has done it by himself for the past three weeks. Again, I am sure it would be much easier to stay home. What a gift of a husband who cares more about worshipping God and family togetherness than his own ease and comfort. Honey, you are the love of my life and the man of my dreams. Thank you for all you have stepped up to do. For the gift of you...I thank God!

Unknown Expectations

We had an ultrasound today to look and see if I still have vasa previa and determine what the go forward plan would be. In anticipation of the ultrasound I really feel like I didn't have any expectations. There were a couple of possible outcomes and I felt really open to any of them and just wanted to know. The placenta could have migrated more toward the top of my uterus and the vessels would have followed and the situation would not be as risky. In that case, delivery would have been postponed to later than 34 weeks...possibly 36 weeks. I probably still would have been on bedrest but maybe at home and not at the hospital. Or, the vasa previa would still be so evident that the doctor would stick to the original plan of delivering Garrett at 34 weeks. The doctor determined the later. He said that he is actually more convinced with this ultrasound than the last one (3 weeks ago) that it is a clear vasa previa and we should not take any chances. Therefore, barring an emergency situation, I am going to have a baby in two weeks (on or around Aug 5). WHOA! I realize now that I did have an expectation and that was that things would look at least a little better. Better enough that the doctor would want to look again before we actually delivered Garrett. However, he said that even if the vessels moved a little in the next two weeks it would not be enough for him to consider it safe to postpone delivery. I also think that I unintentionally got my hopes up about going home. I think I was trying to convince myself that I didn't have an expectations. In reality, I was hopeful about going home and really expecting that things had gotten better and not stayed the same. That must by why I feel like crying right now. Although, I am fairly anxious and somewhat emotional about the unknowns right now, it really isn't that big of a deal. I will have only been in the hospital for a month and 34 week babies are usually very healthy and don't have any serious issues. According to the ultrasound, Garrett weighs 4 lbs 14 oz. Which means that in two weeks he should be well over 5 lbs. The doctor said that the measurements per the ultrasound tend to break down and could be off a pound or more for bigger babies but with the size of mine if it is off at all it should only be off by a few ounces. I am praying for the steroids to have done their job for Garrett's lung development and he will not develop any respiratory issues. When I saw the neonatologist the other day she said weight and lungs were the two biggest things that they consider when deciding if a pre-term baby needs to be admitted to the NICU. Of course, I don't want him to go to the NICU and be able to room with me. I want him to be able to feed normally but they say the suck/swallow coordination is not developed until 36 or 37 weeks. I have the best laid plans figured out in my head already. However, the Lord keeps reminding me that my plans are not His plans. I know and trust that His plans are always perfect. Again, I sacrifice the unknowns to the Lord, have complete trust and dependence on Him, and humbly ask for Him to shower His grace and peace on us once again.

More Flowers

I got a couple more flower deliveries over the last week. There are two pictures of the first arrangement because there are a few different types of flowers that you can't see from the same angle.
These are from my mom's good friend whose name just happens to be Tina:


These are from my friend Su:

Butterfly

This is the most beautiful butterfly that I have ever seen. Andrew surprised me early Saturday morning with a visit from the kids. After breakfast, we went for a wheelchair ride. On the way back to the room we took a little detour where you could walk outside on the sidewalk by some flowers and bushes. We saw this amazing butterfly flying around. I felt so blessed as if God had put it there just for us to enjoy! I told Braedon this was such a blessing because we don't see butterflies that big before. Truth is I have never seen one that big. It was two to three times bigger than butterflies I am used to seeing. I wish soooo bad that I would have had my real camera. I had my phone so I got some pictures but they completely don't do it justice since they are cell phone camera pictures. (hint: click on the middle picture to enlarge it if you can't see the butterfly). I was trying to get a picture with all of the surroundings to show how big it was. It landed for a long time just like it was posing for pictures. It was so neat!

Rubber Glove Fish

My nurse made blow up fish out of rubber gloves for the kids the other day. They LOVED them. Of course, Braedon's only lasted about 5 minutes before he popped it. Kaley's is still hanging on because she is not quite so rough with her things.

Am I Bored?

This is a picture of the front of a super-cute greeting card I received yesterday...how appropriate. :-) The inside says "waiting with you in prayer"

Amazingly enough, I am not bored. I have watched very little T.V. and no movies. I have browsed through the hospital materials they have given me, which include some early parenting information for pre-term babies, patient packet containing info on hospital amenities, other patient paperwork, etc...That is about as close as I have come to looking at magazines. I really have more of a desire to spend quite time with God, do bible study, pray, read, blog, journal, sleep, eat, and visit with people on the phone and in person. My dear sweet husband has been coming up with the kids for several hours each day. Of course, a 3 & 1/2 year old and 1 & 1/2 year old in a hospital room is anything but boring. I do have wheelchair privileges so we take a ride with the kids sitting on my lap and daddy pushing us. Combine all that with visiting with doctors and nurses, two hours a day of monitoring, and a shower and I really don't have much more time to pass. I also know that the purpose for me to be a light in the world includes this time while I am in the hospital. I am praying for God's leadership in that and have begun to build nice relationships with the staff who is caring for me. It is always my prayer that He be glorified in all I say and do. I am hoping and praying that people here will see His light in me.